2 years
i am often overwhelmed with so many emotions when i pause and recognize its been almost 2 years since her overdose. Writing about it is truly one of the ways i can process the complex span of emotions i feel when i reflect back on the road we have traveled. Those emotions are all intertwined with the reality of what transpired when death was what we were staring down. how did we get here? we were doing everything we could. why couldn't we control this? i thought i could fix it, i thought i could change it i thought if i could just get back on track she would outgrow it, if i could just if i could over and over until all that was left was death. i am filled with gratitude for how far we have come, overwhelmed with sadness for what transpired, pained with grief for the mistakes i made AND i choose to forgive myself. I give myself grace because how could i have known how to hold space emotionally for my children if i was never shown how to be a safe container. I give myself gra...
