Evolution of my body and loving the skin I am in

     From the beginning of our lives, girls learn to equate body size with worth.  Unrealistic expectations and misaligned priorities in society impose these standards on women and girls.  I love the quote that says "If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how very different our ideals of beauty would be...".    I am loving my forties.  I now have enough life experience and fought those battles but learned that me, myself and I is what matters.  The people in my life love me for who I am, not what size pants I wear, or whether I fit into a bikini or not.  As a teen I wanted to be thinner, I wanted to wear spaghetti strap dresses to formals and find jeans that fit muscular thighs. In my twenties I found bodybuilding where wide backs and broad shoulders brought me trophies but that brought with it the challenge of unrealistic levels of fitness to maintain.  I have had three children and watched my body evolve and change during pregnancy, after pregnancy, healing from multiple cesarean sections and then again to my baseline.  I have pushed my body in cross-fit competitions and worked through healing after injuries.  Throughout all of these experiences the one thing that has remained constant was me.  Regardless of my size, body conditioning or fitness level I remained loved by my husband, my children, my family and friends.  

 

Things I have learned about my body at the age of 43

1.  It is magnificent
2.  I am able to compete in physical activity (cross fit competitions, daily exercise, road races)
3.  I am able to change my physique and compete for it's aesthetics (natural bodybuilding)
4.  It can grow a human (or 3)
5.  It is strong, and strong is beautiful
6.  It is not about the way I look, but how I feel
7.  One of the greatest gifts is your health

                                                                        

Our bodies are not what defines us.  Our bodies house our souls, our bodies are the vehicle for how we share our gifts with our families and friends and the world.  My mantra for 2022 is "maitri", because that is what matters.  Maitri is a Buddhist mantra meaning loving kindness, good will and active interest in others.  Maitri removes a negative state of mind and believes that "what one thinks, one becomes".  I truly believe that the energy we put out into the universe comes back to us.  Like Roald Dahl said "If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely".  I look at pictures and then see my reflection in the mirror and think wow I have aged, but I would not trade one single wrinkle for any of the blessings or levels of self-awareness I possess.  Any moments of pain that I have healed from have all brought me to where I am today.  My path, my journey, my experiences have created the me of today.  I am enough, and my hope is that I continue to learn and grow.  I know that end of the day no one will remember how I looked in a bathing suit or how big or small my ass looked in jeans but rather how I made them feel when we were together. I will embrace my body exactly how it is, I will appreciate it for exactly how it looks today regardless of the fluff or the size because I am enough and so is every woman and girl I know.